I am a lot!
Like, a lot of dramatic energy, a lot of positive energy, a lot of pushiness, a lot of love, a lot of impatience and a lot of, well…me.
I bring a lot to a party. I have also been known to dampen it with my energy if I am in a mood or sad.
Shaka is my counterbalance. He has an awesome, warm, patient, calm energy. Our differences work for us.
But when we first started dating, I took his “let’s wait and see” approach to be something that needed my “umph.”
It didn’t. Well, sometimes it did, cuz, let’s face it, things get done around me. But there is a lot to be said for things getting DONE in their own time and not on my agenda.
During quarantine, I have had to come to many realizations.
I wrote in my previous post about how being stuck in an apartment affected my body.
One of the issues that arose from sitting so much was an irritation of the facet joint near my tail bone.
I went to PT and he gave me some exercises. I tell ya, these didn’t feel like they were doing anything. ANYTHING!
It didn’t seem to get better, it didn’t seem to get worse. It just…stayed the same. But diligently, I did my series of exercises, morning and evening. The PT said, they are micro movements but have a big effect after awhile.
One morning, the pain was just gone. GONE!!!!!
Micro movements seemed to be the key I had never known I needed. But I guess it makes sense. You don’t usually go into debt overnight. It’s a trickle, then a flood. You don’t usually gain weight overnight either. It’s from a series of small choices that end up taking over in the long run.
This past weekend, Shaka and I had a zoom call with another couple (Cor and Sar) who are into healing and meditation like we are.
We discussed a lot of things like, what makes something valuable to you. And how quarantine made us look at the hamster wheel we were on before the shut down. Now, as things open up, we had become more judicious with our time and our choices. It’s more deliberate.
The other thing we talked about is how Sar and I have big personalities. We both like to push the envelope and MAKE things happen. Whereas Shaka and Cor are much more measured and chill.
Sar and I, perhaps adopting some of our husbands’ traits, have noticed some positive changes from sitting back a bit. That sometimes, doing nothing while still maintaining a vibration of action, can be quite effective. It’s letting go and replacing “efforting” with downstream thinking.
These past three weeks have been some of the most painful physically for me. But in the midst of that, there were a number of things that I really really wanted to put my energy towards. And then I released it.
The result has been almost magical. I got MORE than I could have asked for.
Situations ended up being better than I could have imagined!
I realized, it’s not that I stopped caring about what I wanted. I just stopped trying to control how I got it.
Micro movements were at hand. I had already done the work, and now it was time to let the puzzle pieces fall into place without me micro managing.
And for someone who thinks, moves and acts big, this sudden excitement over anything micro was a surprise.
It’s hard for me to wrap my head around trying to achieve something without feeling the pressure.
Sometimes you NEED to feel that pressure.
And sometimes, as I am learning, success comes with a series of small acts, moments, movements that if done correctly, can feel so good in a macro way!